Plans Change

I have had both my younger sons for the last week: it's been nice to share some with my middle boy, who is changing as each day passes. I wish my place were larger, with room enough to give him a space of his own, but I simply don't have that kind of a budget.

After a full week of both boys, and not getting the previous weekend childfree, I am more than ready for this next 10 days of being on my own. I had been looking forward to spending some time at my sister's hanging out and getting my laundry done, but it appears she forgot that plan, so I was packed and ready to go, and she didn't show. Without a phone, the only way to reliably reach me is via email, but that is pretty damned reliable, considering my house-bound status.

I had just celebrated with her roomie that I'd be seeing her tonight and then caught myself: just yesterday I was saying to Arkay that it was never to be counted on that my sister would recall our plans: our family is nothing if not reliably unreliable. It's one of those things. Communication skills in abundance, and no where near the drive to use them (kinda like our particular artistic temperament, in that lack of drive, actually.)

"Read my mind, dammit!" has always kinda been the unspoken attitude all of us have: my oldest sister has gone the farthest down the path of mature expectations as far as that goes. We learned it young and with no better examples: my mother remains one of the least punctual people on the planet. So JB's plans changed, or she forgot, or forgot to let me know that plans had changed.

In this case, it doesn't really have much impact, and JB knows that. She can "get away with it" because I have no choice but to forgive her for something I have all too often exhibited myself. In one sense it's just a continuance of a pattern that I wonder if I am the only one of my feminine family that notices, cares, or wishes to change.

And to be absolutely BitchWare honest: this particular time, I didn't really mind. After having a housefull of kids, guests, and family, without pause for a full three weeks, it's kinda nice to have a quiet evening at home, alone.